Journey
by amandamaex
Summary: Three weeks after Finn disappears, he gets an email from Rachel that changes everything. Set during and after the Quarterback episode. Dedicated to Cory Monteith 3 I only own the plot/storyline.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note:

I can't seem to get the words to finish my previous story. This idea has been in my head for WEEKS and it's completely taken over. Hope you like it. Review/comment if I should continue, or if you have any suggestions!

* * *

 _It's been three months since I walked through these steel doors. Three months since I last made contact with my friends, my family; with her._

 _I got the email this morning. It's been a habit since I got here to check my emails, and todays hit especially close to home. See, they give us these little "allowed vacations" here. Normally, patients would call their families, loved ones, with an update and hopeful thoughts. But me? I ask for permission to check my email. Sounds silly when you think about it, but to me it makes all sorts of sense. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw her email pop up; I know that's why I've continued checking it, hoping she'd give up and send something- anything._

 _See, the people that were in my life mean more than anything to me. And disappearing on them isn't something that I'm necessarily proud of, but it was something that needed to be done. But today's email shattered my heart. And as I stand here, about to walk back into the real world, it's all I can see. The words she sent me, how she must have looked with tears rolling down her beautiful cheeks, and those amazing big brown eyes filled with tears. It's tearing me up more than I thought it would._

 _Of course, you never picture getting to read the email your girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, sends you when she thinks you're dead. Because normally, you are dead at that point. I guess when I signed myself in here; I should have at least called my parents, or her, to let them know I was safe; I just needed help that no one there could have given me._

Breaking Finn from his thoughts, an orderly walks over and hands him the last cup of medicine he'll have to take supervised. Finn smiles at her, thanks her with his adorable crooked smile, and takes the pills like a champ. Before he knows it, he's in line for his ticket and boarding the plane to head home.

Home. It's been so long since he's been there.

Finn has been clean for three months, three days. It's crazy for him to even think he'd started using again. It's even crazier for him to think that without any warning, he left Lima and went to Florida to check into rehab. He can't wait to be home, to see his beautiful mother, shake Burt's hand, and pick on Kurt for his carves. But mostly, he can't wait to see that petite brunette. He can't wait to see how she's changed, to see the pictures of what he's missing. Although, there's a chance he's going to get his ass kicked by Santana, he just hopes Rachel will understand and let him be in their lives.

As he sits on the plane, he pulls out the email he printed. It was the one that set everything into perspective for him. His therapist had been telling him for almost a month now that he seemed well on his way to recovery, and would be fine to head home. But for some reason, Finn wasn't ready. Maybe because he was scared that being home meant being back in college, and college meant being around his idiot of a roommate. He should have known the moment Puck left for LA that living on campus was a bad idea.

But Rachel's email made it very clear to him- it was time to come home. Reading it over and over again, he can't imagine how she'll react when she realizes she was wrong. He wasn't dead, he didn't truly abandon her… them.

 _My Dearest Finn,_

 _It's been three months, and five days since I've heard from you. At first I thought you were just busy with school, still needing some space. At first I wasn't exactly concerned when I didn't get a call back from you. But when your mom called me last week, to tell me that the police had given up and assumed you died that night… Do you know how much it hurts to see the love of your life's name on an obituary?! Of course not. You don't know how much anything hurts now._

 _Finn, how could you do this to me, to us?! I understand that college is hard, peer pressure is hard to resist and temptation is such a big thing. But seriously, heroin? Did you think AT ALL before you injected that?!_

 _And now, now I'm left with the broken promises, the what-ifs, and a stomach that is growing more and more by the day._

 _That's right, I'm pregnant._

 _But you aren't here to share this with me. You aren't here to see our child, our baby, when he or she is born, or says their first words or walks. You have to miss it all now, over one stupid mistake._

 _I'm so angry with you; I just want to break something. Instead of you being by my side through this, holding my hand during my appointments, being there in two weeks to see the sex of our baby, I'm left with Santana. Don't get me wrong, I love the girl and I'm so appreciative of her being here, but she's all I've got now._

 _I never go to tell you I was pregnant, or that Brody was just to fill my time, and the space in my heart. I never got to tell you that I didn't sleep with him; I didn't love him, because I was and still am completely in love with you._

 _You took that from me. You left me, when I needed you more than ever, even if you didn't know it._

 _And all I'm left with is an email address._

 _I'm heading to Lima tomorrow, for your memorial. I wasn't going to go, and I've missed most of the week, but I found this song and I just need, I need to get this out before I completely loose it._

 _I'll always love you Finn, even if I don't understand._

 _-Your star forever,_

 _Rachel Berry *_

As the plane touches down, he can't shake the butterflies in his stomach, the sick feeling that things are going to be okay yet will never be the same again. He rushes through baggage claim, picks up his truck from the parking lot, and heads from Columbus back to Lima, Ohio, praying he can make it there in time to see her before her flight home.


	2. Chapter 2

_This is it._

 _I, Finn Hudson, finally got some alone time with Rachel Berry._

 _Maybe it's weird that I'm so nervous; after all, we are just rehearsing. But there's something sneakily attractive about her. Her hair always smells like strawberries, and she looks at me like I've hung the moon. Yeah, she is intimidating and kinda makes me want to check under my bed at night, but there's definitely something about her that's mesmerizing._

 _But as I sit here with her, watching her sip on her cosmo, I can't help getting lost in her big chocolate brown eyes. Something tells me that I'll always want to look into them; no matter what the circumstances._

" _Oh, you got a little cosmo right here…" Reaching out, I slowly rubbed the red liquid off her lip, realizing too late that I actually did this instead of just in my head._

" _You know, you can kiss me if you want to.." Rachel said, looking just as scared as I felt._

" _I want to." It was all I'd been thinking about for days._

Snapping out of his memories, Finn found himself standing on the outside walk of the school, right under the choir room windows. As he shook his head to rid himself from the day he realized he'd met the girl he'd always want to kiss, he stood higher on his toes. The sight before him in the choir room was heart retching.

There, in the middle of the classroom, was his very best friend Puck. Singing the song that they had long ago deemed their anthem. Tears came to Finn's eyes as he remembered the first time they heard this song. They were so young, and so stupid. But they did what the song said; they made a pact to be blood brothers, and that they'd never retreat or surrender. At the time neither of them understood it much, but as they got older, they found ways to make it their own.

The first time that Finn had ever experimented with drugs, Puck was by his side. It had been a crazy weekend, and by Sunday night, they were back in his room, promising each other with little droplets of blood on their fingers that they'd never retreat, never go back to the drugs, and that they'd never surrender to the peer pressure again.

Guess that's another thing Finn messed up.

" _No retreat, baby, no surrender."_

"Where is it Puckerman?!" Santana's loud voice came in through the room. At that moment, Finn decided to walk away. He didn't care about the drama; all he cared about was finding his ex-girlfriend and somehow explaining the past three weeks.

Turning the corner to head into the school, he looked around the parking lot. Right next to his best friend's truck was his step brother, helping the most beautiful brunette he'd ever seen out of the vehicle. _Rachel._ He couldn't help but notice from afar that she looked radiating, yet so torn. Deciding it was best to stay in the shadows for a bit, he slipped back around the corner, but had his head positioned so he could still see them. She looked so small, so fragile, but he still thought she was so perfect. Dressed in a pretty pink and white dress, with flats and her "Finn" necklace tightly in her hand, he couldn't help but feel the instant twist in his stomach.

That's when Finn noticed it. To him, it was so obvious, even if no one else knew. He'd be about to tell if she hadn't already told him, because he knew her like the back of his hand. Right in front of him, was the woman of his dreams, one arm linked with Kurt's and the other resting nonchalantly on her slightly swollen stomach.

 _Their baby._

Moving would have been the first thing in his mind, except for the fact that he couldn't. He wanted to; he wanted to wrap her up in his arms and smother her in kisses, pleading her to understand and promising he'd never leave her like that again. But the reality of the past three weeks, of the past six months, was hitting him so hard; it was enough that he kept his chest moving.

Leaning back against the school so no one would notice him; Finn tilted his head back, and let the tears silently stream down his face. Maybe he shouldn't have rushed back to Lima yet. Maybe it would be best for everyone, for her and the baby, if he just stayed gone. After all, his stupid decisions are what led them all to having a memorial today, to the heartache and tears.

Before he could motivate himself one hundred percent to get back in his truck and leave, he heard her through the window of the choir room.

"I loved Finn.. And.. He loved me, and he loved all of you guys. I know he did. I've been trying to.. get my emotions in check and.. voice what I'm thinking. So I wrote.. I wrote this song for him.."

Taking another deep breath, he watched the love of his life sing her own song to him, struggling to keep the tears to a minimum to get through the song.

" _It's been seven whole days, seven whole days_

 _Since you paralyzed me._

 _Seven whole days, seven whole days_

 _Since you lost your fight._

 _And I can't get the last words that you said,_

 _Can't get those words out of my head_

 _Seven whole days, seven whole days and four words._

 _And I can't get away from the burning pain,_

 _I lie awake._

 _And the fallen hero haunts my thoughts,_

 _How could you leave me this way?_

 _It's been seven whole days_

 _Without your embrace._

 _I wanna see your face,_

 _I got some things to say."_

Seeing her sing her heart out, the tears cascading down her cheeks at rapid speeds, with her arms over her stomach was enough to shred his heart to bits. He couldn't take it anymore, being so close but so far from her. Without thinking, he took off running around the corner, through the double doors. He passed his old locker, barely noticing his foot almost stepping on a lit candle, and stopped right outside the choir room. Taking a deep breath, he reached for the door handle.

This is it.

Throwing the door open, he noticed all eyes shifting to him. He saw Kurt faint onto Blaine, Santana's face turn bright red, and Rachel start to turn around. Before she could fully turn though, he was by her side, throwing his arms around her and picking her up.

Rachel squealed, not knowing exactly what was happening, but realizing very quickly that the arms around her waist felt all too familiar. Struggling, she pulled back and that's when she realized it wasn't a dream- she was wrapped in Finn Hudson's arms once again. And that was the last thing she saw.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed!

I realized a little too late that I should have posted a warning about having Finn use drugs. I apologize to ANYONE I have offended by this. I know that Finn and Cory are completely different; this is just my take on a certain viewpoint. Again, I'm sorry.

This chapter was hard for me to write, because I don't think of myself as being good with writing dialogue. So let me know what you think!

As always, review if I should continue, and I'm welcome to any suggestions or requests!

I don't own Glee. If I did, it wouldn't have ended with some of those pairings.

* * *

Everything was a blur.

Finn watched on in slow motion as the paramedics loaded Rachel into the back of an ambulance, and then drove off with sirens blazing. He had almost missed them saying which hospital they were taking her to.

Before he knew what was happening, he was being drug off to his truck, and pushed into the passenger seat. He happened to turn his head then, and saw a frantic Latina run around to his driver side, getting in as quickly as possible. Without needing to be asked, he handed his keys over and put his seat belt on.

If he were being honest, he was thankful for Santana. Yes, she scared the living shit out of him. He wanted to hold his breath and wait, knowing sooner or later that she'd go all Lima Heights on him. And the ride to the hospital, although he couldn't see much and didn't want to look at her speed, felt like it lasted forever.

When Santana asked where they would have Rachel, she and Finn were advised to wait in the maternity wards waiting room. Finn was especially nervous when he realized no one else was there to be witness to his impending death, but he couldn't really concentrate on that right now. His 'future wife' and unborn baby were being examined by doctors and no one knew what would happen.

It was a grueling twenty minutes, sitting in silence with Santana Lopez on the other side of the otherwise empty room. Different scenarios were going through his mind, making it more and more stressful as the minutes ticked by. Finally, Santana stood up and walked towards him. Deciding to man up and get this over with, he rose.

"Santana, I-"

Surprising Finn, and probably herself as well, Santana closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around Finn's waist. It wasn't until she was pressed against him that Finn realized she'd been crying.

"I'm so damn glad you're okay. I knew you went to get help, but when you never replied to anyone's texts, including my texts about the pregnancy, I felt like something might have really happened to you."

Caught off guard by the fact that Santana had known where he was, and even more that she'd tried telling him about the baby, all he could do was wrap his arms around her in return and swallow the lump in his throat.

"And when the cops said they were giving up, when your parents decided to hold the funeral, I vowed that I'd stay by her side. I was awful, to both of you, and I couldn't live with myself had I walked away from her when she felt like she had no one left. When you walked in the choir room, I thought-"

When he realized Santana had stiffened in his arms, he turned to see what had her so stunned. Letting go of her with one arm, he turned fully to come face to face with a man in a white coat, looking a bit more worried than a doctor should.

This couldn't be good.

* * *

"Rachel Berry?"

"Uhm, yeah. How is she? How's the baby?" Santana stuttered, trying her best to keep her tears at bay.

"Are you family?"

Finally finding his voice, Finn spoke up. "She's my fiancée, and that's my baby. This is her cousin, Santana."

"I'm doctor Fryman, the attending physician here tonight. I want to say that Rachel is very, very lucky. Her blood pressure was extremely high when she was first brought in. We were able to get it lowered considerably, but it's still a little high, which can be a bit concerning. We have given her some medicine for it, as well as something to help her sleep. As for the baby, she seems to be doing great now. When they first arrived, we hooked Rachel up to the fetal monitor and the baby's heart rate was higher than normal. We then did an ultrasound, to make sure she wasn't physically affected and to check the umbilical cord. Since getting Rachel's blood pressure lowered, your daughter's heart rate was slowed to a more normal range. I believe it's safe to say the baby was just reacting to her mother's stress level. Now, Rachel is sleeping, and we'd like to keep her at least for tonight, just as a precaution."

Finn felt empty. He had caused this. He caused Rachel all of this stress, all because he left without telling her. If he would have just opened up, been a man and told his family and friends, none of this would have happened. If he would have just done things differently that night..

"She?" Santana questioned from his side. He'd almost forgotten she was there.

"Yes. I'm sorry if that was supposed to be a secret. But yes, Rachel is carrying a girl."

And that's when it hit Finn. He's having a girl. He and Rachel had created a little girl.

They were having a girl.

He wondered how Rachel would react to the news. If she'd be happy that she was going to have a mini diva, one that could share her love of all things Broadway and play dress up. One that would probably have her mother's angelic voice and his dimples that Rachel adored so much. He wondered if she had thought of names before he showed back up, causing all of this chaos.

Snapping from his thoughts, he realized the doctor was waiting by the door for him. Following him down the hall, they stopped outside of room 312.

"Now, I'm going to ask that you not wake Rachel up. She needs all the rest she can get in order to keep her blood pressure under control. I'm going to get a list of things together, and give to her cousin, then send her in as well. I'll be back in a few hours to check up on both Rachel and the baby." With that, the doctor walked away, leaving Finn to his own devices.

* * *

He wasn't sure how long he'd been standing in the door way. When he first opened the door, the sound that hit his hears stopped him in his tracks. He vaguely remembered going to Quinn's prenatal appointment, and the fact that it wasn't even his kid, it stunned him into a trance when he heard not only Rachel's heart beat on the machine, but his daughters as well.

Finally, he pulled a chair up next to her bed, and grabbed her hand in his. Letting the tears silently stream down his face for a few minutes, he didn't hear Santana quietly standing by the door. After taking a minute to compose himself, he gripped Rachel's hand tighter.

"Rach.. I'm so, so sorry. I, I love you so damn much and I just need you to be okay. I need you to be okay and come home, and hate me if you need to. But please just be okay, because I'm here, and I'll never leave again."

Not sure where she could hear him or not, he decided to softly sing to her. Singing was always her thing; it always seemed to make her feel better.

 _And I'd give up forever to touch you  
Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't wanna go home right now  
And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
When sooner or later it's over  
I just don't wanna miss you tonight_

Wiping some of his tears away, he leaned forward and kissed Rachel on her cheek. Because of the medicine, he didn't think she'd wake anytime soon, so he moved her bangs out of her face and continued to sing. He didn't notice the knowing look Santana had on her face, or the twitch of Rachel's left hand on the other side of the bed.

 _And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am  
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything feels like the movies  
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive_

When Finn opened his eyes back up, he heard a creak of the door. Turning, he noticed Santana, with tears stripped down her face. She gave him a half-hearted smile.

"San, look. I know I have so much explaining to do. And I know I've caused so much pain and problems. But I love her. I've loved her since day one and I'll continue loving her for the rest of my life. Leaving like I did, I know it was stupid. But at the time it was right. And when I got her e-mail, about the baby, I knew I had to come home no matter what that meant. She can hate me, you can, and everyone can. But her and that baby? They are my world, and the world would have to end before I walked away again."

Before Santana could even say something back to Finn, he felt something squeeze his fingers. He snapped his head down to the precious angel laying on the hospital bed and came face to face with the most spectacular brown eyes, filled with unreadable tears.

"Finn."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I know this isn't very long. I just wanted to get something posted, and this came into my head while driving today. So this is just a little bit of a filler.

It's been a pretty crappy week, with a really bad break up, BUT - the show must go, all over the place, or something, right?

Anyway, thanks for the support & reviews! Keep them coming in. And if you have any ideas or suggestions, please let me know!

I'm kind of struggling with the talk that Rachel and Finn have, so I'd love any thoughts from you guys!

* * *

It had been twenty minutes of sobbing, holding onto each other like the other would slip away, and some words that couldn't quite be made out. Now, Rachel was back asleep, and as Finn finally opened his eyes, he noticed that Santana was still in the same spot by the door. He wouldn't risk waking Rachel up, so he simply gestured for Santana to come closer. Once she was seated in the empty chair next to the hospital bed, he reached out and took hold of her hand.

"I knew in high school, that no matter where life took us, I would always be able to count on our friendship. I'll never forget the guilt I had for shoving you out of the closet, but I knew in that moment we'd be closer than ever. I should have called you that night; or at least let you know I was leaving. But, how'd you know San?"

"Mexican third eye, Frankenteen. Or did you forget?" Santana chuckled, because let's face it; she couldn't handle the seriousness of this conversation. She'd never let him know that when Rach had calmed down the night of his overdose, and finally fell asleep, that Santana hacked into his online bank account and watch his transactions like a hawk. She'd never tell him that when he bought the ticket to Florida, that she'd done her research and found a rehab center, then proceeded to call and pretend to be his mother. She was Santana Lopez; the world didn't need to know how her good side could shine when needed.

Before Finn could ask further, Rachel started talking in her sleep. It was almost like she was having a fight, or a nightmare. He looked so concerned, and turned to Santana with questions in his eyes. Of course, he should have known the answer.

"She started doing that a few nights after your overdose. She was barely sleeping at that point, so I didn't wake her when she started mumbling in her sleep. It's funny though, because I remember in high school, how we all said she lived and breathed Broadway. I'm not joking when I say this; the girl literally sings full songs in her sleep now."

That made Finn smile. Of course, Rachel freaking Berry sung in her sleep. It was her way out, her way to deal and cope with things.

"Well, I guess that part isn't completely true. There's only one song that I've heard her sing over and over again. But it doesn't really matter if she's asleep or awake anymore. I've heard that girl sing it at least five times a day since the whole break up thing happened."

Finn couldn't help the tears in his eyes, or the pull to his heart. Part of him didn't want to know what song that was, because it'd probably crush him into bits. But with the strength he had left, he opened his mouth to ask what song it was.

Before he could even start his question, he got his answer. Next to him, the tiny brunette cuddled closer into his side and fluttered her eyes open. He wasn't sure how long she had actually been awake, but she gave him the saddest smile he'd ever seen on her. He squeezed her into him lightly, a half smile on his face that didn't touch his eyes.

"Sing it for him Berry." Santana interrupted their moment.

"San, although I'd love to sing right now, I think Finn and I have a lot that needs to be said."

"Okay. I get that Rachel. But I think you should sing for him first. Mostly because it'll make me happy that I'm not the only one that gets to hear it this time, but also because if you don't, I'll show him the recording from when you were in the bathroom that one day. Don't tempt me Hobbit."

Rachel could tell by the tone of Santana's voice that she wasn't kidding, so instead of trying to argue more she looked up at Finn. His eyes were full of emotion, but his crooked smile is what made her want to sing. She wanted to see a full on Finn Hudson grin again, if only for one last time before the shit storm she knew was coming hit.

"Fine. But then you have to step out and let us talk, okay?"

Santana nodded her head and got up, and walked over to the door. She stopped and turned back to Rachel, giving her a warning look.

" _I make believe  
That you are here  
It's the only way  
I see clear  
What have I done  
You seem to move uneasy  
And everytime I try to fly  
I fall without my wings  
I feel so small  
I guess I need you baby  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
I see your face, you're haunting me  
I guess I need you baby  
I may have made it rain  
Please forgive me  
My weakness caused you pain  
And this songs my sorry…"_

For some reason, that was more than Finn's heart could take. Before he knew it, he was off the bed and sprinting for the door, tears spilling down his face. He gasped for air when he got to the hallway, and let out a sob as he slammed his fist into the wall. It was more than he'd ever be able to take, seeing the look of desperation and pain in Rachel's eyes, hearing her sing about causing him pain, when in reality, it was the other way around. He cried his heart out, sobbing so loud that people were looking at him like he was insane. But none of that mattered. He felt himself slipping away with every tear that came; the walls he had worked so hard to build up in his mind during his time in Florida, were crumbling to the ground.

The next thing he knew, he had a pair of strong arms around him, holding on for dear life.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I struggled with this all day, but I'm just going to post it and see what happens. They don't really fight in this, so just FYI. Eventually, things will probably get a little iffy between them. They are NOT back together at this moment, but I also don't think Rachel would need the stress to go into battle mode with Finn. Remember, doctor said stress levels stay down.

I'd like to give a huge shout out to the person who definitely has helped me through the nasty break up. Even if it doesn't seem like much, you've truly helped put a smile on my face, and given me a new song to obsess over. So, thank you, khazrn43!

As always, let me know what you think! (:

* * *

 _When I feel that chill, smell that fresh cut grass  
I'm back in my helmet, cleats and shoulder pads  
Standin in the huddle listenin to the call  
Fans goin crazy for the boys of fall_

Three months ago, Puck's life changed forever. One minute, he was getting pretty cozy with this dark haired cheerleader from the college he and Finn attended, and the next he got a call that stopped his entire world. He had known Finn wasn't the same anymore. Finn had taken the break up with Rachel pretty hard, therefore leading to a little too much partying. Puck had stopped going with him to the fraternity about two weeks ago, because it just felt wrong. He'd tried talking to Finn, but there was no getting through to him.

 _They didn't let just anybody in that club  
Took every ounce of heart and sweat and blood  
To get to wear those game day jerseys down the hall  
The kings of the school; man, we're the boys of fall_

But Puck hadn't realized how bad everything was. He didn't realize that behind the mask Finn had been sporting was more guilt and regret than he'd seen in his nineteen years. He didn't see the signs like he should have, but he also didn't think he needed to look for them. Not after that one weekend so many years ago. They had made an oath, and Puck had taken it to heart.

 _Well it's turn and face the stars and stripes  
It's fightin back them butterflies  
It's call it in the air alright, yes sir we want the ball  
And it's knockin heads and talkin trash  
It's slingin mud and dirt and grass  
It's I got your number, I got your back  
When your back's against the wall  
You mess with one man, you got us all  
The boys of fall_

He had so many things he wanted to say when Finn walked through the door. At first, he thought it was his mind playing tricks on him. I mean, they were having a memorial of sorts for the guy, and he just walks into the room? How crazy is that?

 _In little towns like mine that's all they got  
Newspaper clippings fill the coffee shops  
The old men will always think they know it all  
Young girls will dream about the boys of fall_

But Puck didn't have a chance to think much from that moment on, because next thing he knew, Rachel was on her way to the hospital. And he could have sworn he heard Santana mutter something about a baby under her breath right before Rachel was out.

Hearing his phone ring, he was pulled from his thoughts. He'd know the ringtone anywhere. He'd assigned _'Bad to the Bone'_ to Santana's contact back in middle school. Without hesitating, he hit the green button.

"Sup babe? How is she?"

"Puck.. shit's going to get ugly, and fast. How fast can you get here?"

Puck could hear the nerves in Santana's voice, the fear that was no doubt written on her face. Before he even realized it, he had his keys in his hand and was walking out the door.

"I'll be there in five."

"Maternity ward."

Click.

* * *

Noah Puckerman was Lima's badass. He'd grown up in a shitty home life, and had acted out in rebellion to that. What most people normally didn't see, was that Puck would do anything for his friends- his family. They were the only family he felt he really had. So when Santana had called him earlier to let him know he was needed, he'd jumped out of sulking in bed and rushed to the hospital. What he wasn't aware of is the fact that he'd walk in to see his best friend breaking down against the wall.

The first thought in Puck's mind was to check on Rachel. She'd been a mess since the news hit, and no doubt was a mess all over again. He peaked into the room, and after seeing Santana holding the tiny brunette, tears running down both of their faces; he'd decided to let her handle it. He had a best friend that needed him.

He bent down and wrapped his arms around Finn, putting him into his embrace and helping him stand. He took one more glance into the room, where Santana nodded her head to him, then lead Finn back to the waiting room. Once Finn was sitting down, Puck started to pace. There were so many questions he had, so many things he needed to understand.

"Puckerman quit pacing. You're going to leave a path on the floor. Hudson, man up. Get in there and talk to her before she completely loses her mind, or before I stop holding back and go all Lima Heights on your ass." Santana glared between the two guys in front of her, before turning back towards the door.

"Come on Puck; I'm hungry." And with that, she was out the door as quick as she came in.

* * *

He wasn't sure how long they had sat quietly, but it was long enough that Rachel's breathing had calmed significantly. So many thoughts were running through his brain, and he was having a hard time deciding on where to start. Rachel's hand on his knee stopped his anxious bouncing, and helped keep him grounded. One look into her eyes, those beautiful brown eyes that were rimmed with tears, was enough to at least get him started.

"Look Rach, I know we have so many things to talk about. But I just want to get this off my chest okay? I didn't want to hurt you anymore than I already had. When I woke up in the hospital that night, I knew I needed help. And I know that you, along with everyone else, are going to say I should have just asked. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't man up enough to admit to you all that yet again, I let you down. I didn't have the strength to realize that I wasn't a complete failure; that I'd just lost my way somehow. You were doing so well from the updates Kurt had been sending. I just, I couldn't burden any of you. So I did the only thing that made sense to me. I left. Without the okay from the doctor, or getting any of my things. I walked out of the hospital, took all the money I had in my savings, and went to a rehab in Florida. That's where I was this whole time. I didn't abandon you because I didn't love you, or because I didn't want this. I went down there with the intent on getting cleaned up, getting the help I needed, and coming back to New York. I didn't think the plan through from anyone else's side. I just knew I needed to go. Being in Lima, or at school, wasn't going to help me. I just… I needed to do this for you."

"Although I love that you love me enough to get it together Finn, that is not an acceptable reason." Rachel held her hand up to stop Finn's protest. "Listen. You needed to do that for YOU, Finn. You're right; it wasn't a well thought through plan. Because, if you had any sense, you would have at least told your poor mother. Do you know how hard this has been for her? Even if you thought you couldn't stay in Lima, or at school, or hell, even New York, we still would have been a support system for you when you were in Florida. Did you know that having a support system is actually really helpful when going through something like that? I really, _really_ wanted to hate you when I woke up. You disappeared on me, and not for the first time. But this was so big Finn, so life changing. And it breaks my heart even more, knowing you felt like you'd have been a burden to me. I told you once before, I don't need you to make decisions for me. I thought you understand that?"

"Oh trust me, I got that message loud and clear when I found out that stupid bastard gigolo that you were dating moved in. I got the message Rach. Don't forget, I'm not the only one here that has walked out or disappeared on the other. If you don't remember, Mr. Schue's almost wedding? It stung like a bitch to wake up and you were just gone. But I had to swallow my pride and let that go, because it's what made you happy in the end. Look, I don't want to fight with you. I know I've hurt you more than either of us could fully understand. I'm just asking you to at least see where I'm coming from. In my defense, I wasn't aware that anyone would get the police involved, let alone have a funeral/memorial for me."

"No worries Finn, I haven't forgotten that wedding. Especially because it's resulted in this pregnancy. And I won't continue to apologize for that now. Do you know how many nights I laid wake, hoping and praying that you'd called me after the whole scandal with donkey face happened?" At this, Finn let out a much needed laugh. He couldn't believe that Rachel Berry of all people had just insulted that guy. Of course, anyone with eyes would make fun of the plastic man. "I so badly wanted to just call you and tell you to come back, that I, we, needed you. But I figured since you left without even so much as a greeting or a text saying 'I'm in New York' that you didn't want to hear from me."

"It wasn't like that Rach. I just, I figured you had enough on your plate ya know? You were waiting on the Funny Girl auditions, and had just found out that you'd been sleeping in a bed with a male prostitute. I didn't think you'd want me there; it'd be like a smack in the right or something."

Rachel and Finn both just sat there, starring at the floor. Both had so much left to say, to find out, but couldn't do it. They just needed a minute to breath, to gather up their feelings.

* * *

Neither Rachel nor Finn knew how long they had sat there starring into space. And neither was aware that Santana and Puck were right outside in the hallway, pressed against the door and listening to everything that had been said. It was hard for them, because they so badly wanted answers as well, but knew that 'Finchel' needed this time to process, to heal if they could. Realizing it'd been a while since either voice could be heard; Santana nudged Puck's shoulder and nodded.

From inside the room, Rachel had shifted on her bed so that she was laying down and facing Finn. She still hadn't let go of his hand, so that was a good thing, right?

They both looked at each other faintly, silently telling each other that they were hearing the same thing- someone was in the hallway playing a guitar and singing.

" _Hello, it's me  
I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to me  
To go over everything  
They say that time's supposed to heal ya, but I ain't done much healing  
Hello, can you hear me?  
I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be  
When we were younger and free  
I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet  
There's such a difference between us  
And a million miles  
Hello from the other side  
I must've called a thousand times  
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done  
But when I call you never seem to be home  
Hello from the outside  
At least I can say that I've tried  
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart  
But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart  
Anymore_"

By now, Finn had climbed onto the rather huge hospital bed, and was laying on his side facing Rachel. He'd long switched hands with her, and had his right hand cupped on her cheek, wiping the silent tears that streamed down her face. He couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking or wonder why their best friends were in the hallway singing. He heard the door creak open, but didn't chance moving, and neither did Rachel. Because in that moment, they were both were they needed to be.

" _Hello, how are you?  
It's so typical of me to talk about myself, I'm sorry  
I hope that you're well  
Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened?  
It's no secret that the both of us  
Are running out of time  
So hello from the other side  
I must've called a thousand times  
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done  
But when I call you never seem to be home  
Hello from the outside  
At least I can say that I've tried  
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart  
But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart  
Anymore"_

Ignoring the other people in the room, Finn put his finger under Rachel's chin to move her face to look into her eyes. "I know that we have so much more to talk about and figure out, but there's something I want to say. I love you so damn much Rachel Barbra Berry. Don't you ever forget it."

Wiping the tears off on Finn's cheek with her free hand, she slid it behind his neck and pulled him into a very passionate, emotional kiss. They both wanted to deepen it, let out their emotions and say hell to the wind for the night. But instead Rachel pulled back once more.

"I love you so much Finnegan Christopher Hudson. Let's get some rest and we can talk more in the morning."

Squeezing her hand, he gently pulled her closer to him. Rachel tried to get comfortable, and finally gave in and turned so her back was flush against Finn. They reunited their hands, and she laid them on her tiny stomach.

"I can't wait to meet her Rach."

After a moment of silence, Finn realized that Santana must have left the gender reveal out of the update from the doctor to Rachel. But then his worries were washed away.

"I'm so glad you're here with us; she's going to need her daddy around."

With that, they both contently smiled and closed their eyes. Not once did they even acknowledge the knowing looks passed from Santana to Puck and back. They also didn't see the two grab each other's hands and smile affectionately at one another as they slowly left the room, lost in their own little world.

* * *

So, how was it?

Also, just a heads up, I'm starting a new work week tomorrow night. I may be able to get another chapter in after my shift tomorrow, but don't hold your breath. It may be Wednesday before I can get another chapter up, if not then on Thursday.


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